why is public education so adversarial toward the parents of special needs children? a first consideration

For the past fifteen years I have been representing children (my own and others) in 504 and IEP meetings around the mid-Atlantic region (including Maryland, Pennsylvania, Delaware, New Jersey, and New York).

My role is "parent advocate," which is virtually the only loophole favorable to parents under the whole IDEA and 34 CFR structure that governs the education of children with disabilities and special needs.  Parents have the absolute right to bring in any advocate they please (with some restrictions on actual attorneys) without prior notice to the school district.

When you arrived, unannounced, as a Parent Advocate, a number of things generically happen.  First, there a lot of shuffling and whispering, as the others on the "team" tell each other that there's an outsider in the room.  Then there is the inevitable but ever so polite request that I provide my bona fides for knowing anything at all about public education or special needs children (they, of course, being school district employees, are immune to such questions).

Then they start the meeting.  If you've ever been a parent unhappy with your child's educational experience in a special ed or 504 disability setting, please feel free to skip the next painful section:  you've been through it too many times.

the saddest, most painful, and most important piece you will read today

If you love children, read it.